Sana 7ilwa ya Gameel

All this love and aggravation…

Jose Cuervo



Black Velvet



Jack Daniels


Crown Royal


I’ve wasted so much of my life…Walking the aisle she scopes the vast choices of bottles lining up the wall. Different shapes and sizes, attractive, candy colored, filled with juices that literally have the power to numb your brain from all your fears, pain, wiping away the capacity to feel or be sane. Mouthwatering tastes reigning you in; peach, vanilla, citrus, mango, strawberry, your choice of a lip-smacking way to erode your soul. Emotionless she fingers the tags, fearless she makes the choice, a slender bottle, vibrant, potent, she is satisfied. Placing her pick on the register she hands her I.D. without being asked. A quick look to discern her face the clerk offers her a sly grin, thinking already this young one has joined this futile cycle of wasting away. Exclaiming what a hefty price to pay, not only for your life, but this excellent intoxicating drink… She cuts him off and explains that price is not an issue and with the clear displeasure hanging on the side of her frowning brows he shuts his mouth and completes the transaction. Waving away his thank you she brutally shuts the door to her car, breathing in, unwilling to back away from what she’s been wanting to do for so long.

Tires Screech

She steps out and finds his elegant face among the crowd. He recognizes his younger sister and starts calling her over, proudly pointing out to his friends this is the young one you gotta watch out for, she’s gonna take over the world in a whirlwind. Yet she makes no move to join him, nor introduce herself to all her brothers’ curious friends. Instead she waits, calming her erratic heart, pleading with her wits not to flee her.

I’ve made my choice

Wrenching the cap from the bottle she slowly pours the alcohol to the pavement, passerby’s calling out what a waste! Little girl do you realize what your throwing away? Yet steadily she continues to pour the drink, making sure to keep eye-contact with her sibling. He shakes his head in dismay, chuckling at her foolishness, demanding her to come over. Calmly she shakes the last drop, replaces the cap and stares down at the swirling fizz beneath her sandals. Without warning the bottle smashes near her brothers head, and as he is about to curse her out he freezes when he see’s the look in her eyes. She is enraged. Having infused within that throw all her disappointment, frustration, disgust, at all the things that he has/is become, she is boiling over. She was done with being reflexive, unreceptive, silent to the happenings before her. No more giving subtle hints, no more begging, she shattered that illusion along with the hundred dollar bottled whisky, wanting to scream ‘Life IS a struggle… who doesn’t go through shit? If you won’t let me or anyone pick you up for the love of God release me from this anguish… why the hell do I care so much? God damn you I rip and lay my heart and you just step all over it wearing that silly grin! 7aram 3alaik why do I still love you so much?’ But what stopped him in his tracks was the raw hurt in her eyes…  He opens his mouth but for the first time, he was unable to sugar-coat or laugh away his/her pain.


Killing the engine she finally lets her body feel the aftershock effects. Panting she covers her face, pushing back the tears that have been wanting to break. Stepping out she tries to shake the creeping coldness, unable to take the steps. He finds her like this and with no hesitation draws her forehead to his shoulder, resting his hand on the back of her neck. They stand awhile, his steady breathing coupled with her trembling breaths, and he is confident that in due she would come with her own accord and share what’s on her mind, so he doesn’t pry. His stance patience, he softly hums to her Happy Birthday as a lullaby, gently pressing a kiss to her neck.