Arms of Abyss

Inhaling only to choke

Exhaling clawing at my chest

Fighting for breath

kicking my feet

trying to break the surface

hands outreached


I’m drowning

I’m falling

I’m crashing

I’m accommodating

I’m compromising

I’m troubled

I’m weary

I’m floating

and the darkness

gently embracing


as I give in

to this mental paralysis

this inner decay

this self-identity crisis

this virus

particles of me floating

slowly dissolving

unwillingly become part of a mixture

a solution

only transform into this confusion

I am content in these arms of abyss

but my mind

but my heart

but my spirit

left they pull me

right they pull me

a shock of life they grant me

as I twitch and remember to kick

reaching the surface to grasp for anything

blindly seeking the comfort of everything

I grab hold and


to stand and holler  my defiance, my identity, my fury, my passion, my uncertainties, my disloyalty, my humanness as my cry increases in volume, roots spring from the soles of my feet, bending, weaving, as I reach deep, body solidifying, arms branching, I evolving, steadfast I plant all that I am and flower into a woman possessed, impassioned

to say only this

Do not underestimate me for I am able

Do not pester me for I am in peace

Do not corrupt me for I am genuine

Do not classify me for I am rare

Do not puzzle me for I am aware

Do not belittle me for I am shrewd

Do not love me for I am intact

Do not abandon



for I hope