Inhaling only to choke
Exhaling clawing at my chest
Fighting for breath
kicking my feet
trying to break the surface
hands outreached
flailing
I’m drowning
I’m falling
I’m crashing
I’m accommodating
I’m compromising
I’m troubled
I’m weary
I’m floating
and the darkness
gently embracing
dragging
as I give in
to this mental paralysis
this inner decay
this self-identity crisis
this virus
particles of me floating
slowly dissolving
unwillingly become part of a mixture
a solution
only transform into this confusion
I am content in these arms of abyss
but my mind
but my heart
but my spirit
left they pull me
right they pull me
a shock of life they grant me
as I twitch and remember to kick
reaching the surface to grasp for anything
blindly seeking the comfort of everything
I grab hold and
Pull
to stand and holler my defiance, my identity, my fury, my passion, my uncertainties, my disloyalty, my humanness as my cry increases in volume, roots spring from the soles of my feet, bending, weaving, as I reach deep, body solidifying, arms branching, I evolving, steadfast I plant all that I am and flower into a woman possessed, impassioned
to say only this
Do not underestimate me for I am able
Do not pester me for I am in peace
Do not corrupt me for I am genuine
Do not classify me for I am rare
Do not puzzle me for I am aware
Do not belittle me for I am shrewd
Do not love me for I am intact
Do not abandon
Surrender
Resign
for I hope
Nubian(Q) 