Obnoxious Thoughts

HeartBreak by Madeleine Arnett

Obnoxious thoughts have been tampering with my head these
days and I’ve been left with an acidic taste in my mouth as I write this

My chest hurts from the amount of sorrow that has engulfed my senses from all the news of death and destruction and injustice and mothers crying and babies dying and fathers fighting and brothers and sons and daughters and families entirely extinguished, forgotten ashes that our media so conveniently covers with impersonal numbers with the heading terrorist

but that’s not what troubles me

my chest hurts witnessing the transformation of the star of David into a swastika and the crescent into a shameful scarlet letter that even some Muslims avoid to wear and it makes me wonder why is it that American Senators and European Ministers and U.N. officials were able to speak out against the Gaza killings while Arab leaders cued their ipods to drown out their populations demonstrations trying to enjoy their paid vacation that has been provided by Uncle Sam’s Travel Getaway Agents

but that’s not what troubles me

I cannot bring myself to invoke sympathy to the troubles that assail lady liberty’s shores because with all that goes up all of it must come collapsing and if you thought that this land seeped with the spangled stars and red, white and blue scars holds a special place in the Lords heart God Bless America being insinuated and branded in our pockets typed into each politicians sermon till it has become a dull anthem that has given us this sense of confidence turned wholly into arrogance that gives birth to ignorance, a generation of 90210’s that fully enjoy rubbing it in others faces wondering ‘Why do they hate us?’

But why should I be apologizing while I cant even shed a single tear for my own countrymen? Why should I give a damn while no respect is given to my 3rd world brethren?

No ancestor of mine stepped off a mayflower to lay a brick to this American foundation, I am a daughter of Ra, my blood runs in rhythm to the Nile while my complexion complements its banks and my loyalties are entwined to running barefoot avoiding broken glass using dirty socks for a ball engulfed in sandstorms laughing through water and electrical shortages

My loyalty is entwined to a motherland that I have not been able to rest my bones into for more than twenty years because am stuck here

Stuck at playing the thoughtful guest who is mindful of her manners while taking whatever this land of opportunity can offer unlike past forefathers who trudged with muddy boots, pillaging, exploiting, planting flags owning lands

Not their own

Owning souls not their own

And the legacy continues with big words that shine and control

‘World Democracy’

‘Universal Human Decency’
‘A Unified Economy’
all delivered at the tip of a descending good intentioned laced nuke as we drown in the saddest of symphonies melodies evoking the hideous in us as we become blinded in the height of a crescendo that consumes us

Obnoxious thoughts tamper with my head these days and am left with an acidic taste in my mouth that pumps through my veins, holes of disappointment adorn the valves to my heart and am left gasping for an answer because my chest hurts

And that troubles me