{My Mr. Big}

He’s the asshole you’ve known for more than five years but have secretly loved from day one. He’s the buffoon that everyone sees as useless but you see as perfectly flawed and just priceless. He’s the only boy you’ve ever said the words ‘I love you’ to and never will again (well it’ll take a another good 10 years before you utter them again). He is absolutely the worst, the disease that you hold onto while keeping the cure an arm’s length away because you sincerely… sincerely believe that vile immunity, that vile hope will pull through and miraculously transform your disease into something good. But therein lies the lesson, after all the days of sleeplessness, of being in a constant state of

disbelief, suffering through body parts you didnt even know could ache, you learn a lesson (am serious you do and here it goes) the lesson is…. it passes. I know it feels like your heart is bleeding and seeping through your shirt and making your pants a mess, that  youre so tired but cant sleep, so disheartened that the future is just bleak… but it passes. Love will make a pass at you again, those butterflies will make a home of your tummy again, you’ll have those sweat marks from your armpits when seeing that hotty again… it passes. Though slow and painful it passes. And yes there are those moments where a memory so potent will rush and paralyze you, his smell comes unexpectedly on a rainy day, something he said, something he wore, always that something… but it passes. Its like… I walk away a pure vessel of self reflection, passing by distress, bitterness and her close companion depression, so I give them a smile and choose not to avoid they’re gaze, instead stop and have a discussion, of the countless upcoming days where I will expand, outgrow, be me and All, without sorrow for happiness has chosen to take possession, steadfast I commit, make amends and… 

It passes

Advertisements