Untitled Frustrations

Frustrations boiling down to this
I mean must it ever end?
This masquerading
running in circles only to land
in this ever expanding
evolving
confusing
deceiving
target that just wont
stay still
my hearts aflutter
I said Be still!
No matter how many times I reword it
Rework it
Resize this draining issue
It comes crashing like this untamed wave
Crippling me every time
Yet and I stand & remain
And I take it with a smile
With midfinger extended
Yet a bit of me is being chipped
and these indecisive hands unraveling me
aren’t finding purity
but flaws…
I am exquisitely flawed
I am mad
I am faithless
I am serene
I am high
So I wrap this blunt of meditation
Fill it with all my insecurities
mad ravings
disenchantment
reservations
sit back
exhale and
reminisce